Children with reactive attachment disorder feel unsafe in the world. Their fears and anxieties cause them to distant to and distrust people. Thus, they seek for safety and protection. However, their mechanism of keeping themselves safe is not healthy as they prevent people from showing them love and support. Now, here are some tips that can help you to make your child feel safe and secure:
Set limits and boundaries
Parents should be consistent in reminding their children about the possible consequences of their actions. It is important that they understand what appropriate behavior is expected of them. Teach them what is acceptable and not and remind them of the consequences of consistently disobeying the rules. AD children often have a poor conscience, thus make them understand what is right and wrong, and teach them to always follow what is right. This may be difficult but if you do this continually, with compassion and gentleness, you will succeed.
As mentioned, children with attachment disorder often have control issues. They cannot control their anger and their behavior, in general. But whatever happens, do not call their misbehavior as “bad”. You still have to understand what they have been through. By staying calm, show that everything is manageable, that your children can still do it again right the next chance. However, if the child is purposely defiant, get back to the first tip in which you’ll make him or her understand the consequences of his or her actions. Also, remember to never discipline AD children when you are emotionally-unstable.
Always be available
AD children are always bothered by the trauma they are experiencing. They constantly remember the hurtful happenings, as well as other problems in life. In cases like this, always be available to connect and communicate with your child. Let them know that you are there to listen if he or she needs someone. The more persistent you are in your willingness to help your child with his or her problems, the more you prove that your love and care is consistent and undying.
Own up to mistakes and reconcile
There are times when you cannot control your emotions too and became impatient and insensitive in accommodating the needs of your children with AD. In this case, make sure you admit that it is your bad for reacting that way. Own up to your mistake and immediately reconcile with your children. Prove to them that you may not be a perfect parent, but you are genuine with your love for them.
Maintain daily routine
AD children often feel threatened when there are inconsistencies on your daily routines. Make sure that you follow or maintain a same schedule and routine so your children will feel comfortable and secure. This will ensure that the children focus onto self-rehabilitation and the moving on process from trauma.
Again, the recovery of your children with attachment disorder solely lies on you parents and guardians. It is you who can make them feel the love and attention they need.